Yoga means union; this includes a union of our personal body and its environment. When you enter a yoga studio, you typically encounter an airy space, free of clutter. Things are organized and aligned. The lighting and colors are soft and evocative. Yoga studios are typically set up like this so as to mimic the openness and cleansing nature of asana practice. It is inviting our energy to expand.
Like we say in yoga: As Above, So Below.
And so in the preparation for intimacy, the intention is to create an environment that allows our sex energy to circulate and expand. Try these four steps to prepare your space for an electric intimate experience:
1. Remember that cleanliness is godliness.
During yoga and intimacy both, we want to release the pollution, from within and without, that may block us from experiencing our deepest feeling. I recommend that clients maintain a clean environment for intimacy, releasing as much clutter as possible, so that there is more space for new energy to circulate. This is a great practice to maintain on a consistent basis—donating unused items, organizing piles of paper, and cleaning all surfaces. Make sure everything has a place.
I also recommend that clients maintain a clean body for intimacy. In addition to fundamental health practices like eating a plant-based diet, drinking lots of water, and exercising everyday, I coach my clients to prepare for intimate experiences by indulging in every hygienic practice that helps them to feel most sexy. This may mean taking a shower and putting moisturizer on every inch of your body, shaving and shaping your facial hair and hairline, or putting perfume in your favorite spots. It's all about making me you feel sexy, so that you can align with the sex experience that you are about to manifest.
Wearing something special in anticipation of intimacy can cultivate even more sex energy, and can be used for sensual exploration. Many of my female clients enjoy wearing lingerie or a dress that they love, which helps to increase self-esteem as well as their partner's arousal. Many of my male clients enjoy wearing textured fabric that can be used to stimulate their partner (like silk or cashmere), or wearing a special accessory to keep on during intimacy (like a tie or fedora).
Not only do these sartorial props help to push your pleasure limits, but they also create an opportunity for deepened emotional connection by bonding over the unique experience.
2. Build an altar.
An altar is used to support yoga practice by activating spiritual energy. As the ideal intimate experiences are spiritual as well, creating an altar in the bedroom can help us to channel this energy for enhanced pleasure and partnership. Typically, an altar holds representations from the five elements: earth, wind, fire, air, water. Here are some examples of how you can represent these elements in order to channel sex energy:
Earth: You can offer anything that comes from the earth, like flowers, plants, sea shells, or fruit.
Wind: This is signified by the space between and around your altar, so simply make space.
Fire: Light candles!
Air: This is best represented with incense, but it could also be with a scented candle or potpourri.
Water: I like to put a little glass of water, sometimes with seashells in it, but you can use water any way.
3. Keep your props handy.
Props are used in yoga studios, to help us achieve deeper openness of our bodies. If we can't touch our toe in Padangusthasana, we can use a strap for assistance. Likewise, props are used in intimacy to achieve a deeper level of pleasure.
Just as we set up our props at the beginning of yoga class, I recommend that we do so for intimacy as well. Keep organic lube and non-lubricated condoms right near the bed so that you never have to break from your passion to find them. If there are any toys that you would like to use for achieving a deeper level of pleasure, be sure to keep them right near the bed as well.
And of course, just as yoga studios have water and snacks available, I recommend that you have refreshments available as well! My favorite snacks for intimacy are grapes or strawberries—something that you can share without having to cut or cook. Or a nice dark chocolate bar. And don't forget the water to keep you replenished all night long.
4. Get yourself excited.
When coaching couples with the intention of expanding passion in their relationship, I recommend that they plan a specific time for intimacy, and that they arrive to that experience already excited for their partner. It's what I call a Date for Intimacy.
One way to build up excitement prior to the intimate experience, is to utilize new technology. Many of my clients enjoy sending their partner erotic pictures and text messages, cultivating arousal and desire in the hours prior to their meeting.
Tantra gurus also recommend self-stimulation within the hour before lovers meet. I coach my clients to lay down, close their eyes, and imagine their favorite pleasure sensations. This practice helps to cultivate sexual energy, aligning their thoughts and feelings for the deep sensual experience to come.