Tantric Meditation for Eye Contact

  Photo by Bassem Shahin

Photo by Bassem Shahin

Sustaining eye contact with your partner during intimacy is a cornerstone of tantra, and is considered to be a form of energy exchange. I coach my clients to first practice eye contact with their partner while kissing, and then throughout successive intimacy practices. Here is a meditation to try, that can help you harness the power of eye contact:

1. Begin in a comfortable sitting position. Make sure that your perineum is pointed down to the ground, to help stay rooted in the present. Stretch your chest up and out, with your shoulder blades together, to open the heart chakra. Rest your hands on your thighs with your palms facing up.

2. Find a fixed object in front of you. I like to use the flame of an altar candle that I keep in my bedroom. But you can use a tree, a lamp, a pillow–anything! We will call this our meditation anchor.

3. Gaze into your meditation anchor. It is not about looking at the meditation anchor, but looking into it. For example, when you look through a window, you are not observing its glass pane or the frame that is holding it. When you look through a window, you use it as a tool to see another side. Gaze into your meditation anchor with this similar intention: What is another side of this object? What is its essence? As Osho says about his meditation anchor the cloud, 'Become The Cloud'. Become your meditation anchor. Feel the essence of your meditation anchor.

4. As you gaze into your meditation anchor, take deeper and deeper abdominal breaths.This means that as you inhale, your entire abdomen expands (all around your torso). I invite you to practice with the intention of inhaling for a count of 6, and exhaling for a count of 6. Take 10 of these breaths.

5. Now imagine that your meditation anchor is gazing into you!With your eyes and energy, pull your meditation anchor's gaze into you, as if it is looking out the window, and you are the window. Feel its energy entering you through your chest, while maintaining your gaze. Take 10 abdominal breaths here.

6. Continue this process for as long as you'd like, gazing into the anchor, and pulling its gaze into you.

7. Once you've practiced with your meditation anchor, use the same intention with your partner during intimacy. During extended kisses, gaze into your partner, and pull their gaze into you. Try it while giving oral pleasure, and during face-to-face intercourse, or even while using yoga postures in more nontraditional intimacy practices.

While your practice may or may not be sustained for a long period of time at first, its power will be felt in that moment when you and your partner connect on a level that goes deeper than our eyes can see.

Click here for my zine all about fellatio, featuring this meditation and an array of yoga-inspired practices for manifesting pleasure.

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