Yoga Strap Bondage

In my guide DEEPER, I define intimacy as “becoming vulnerability”. One way to practice vulnerability in the bedroom is through bondage, which refers to the restraint of a partner in some form or fashion. Being unable to control our own movement, we are completely exposed—physically and metaphysically. Unguarded, it is much easier to be penetrated by pleasure.

And my favorite prop for the bondage journey is one that many of my clients already have: a yoga strap! Yoga straps support our asana practice by extending our reach, and holding our alignment. I recommend a strap with a metal D-Ring, the longer the better. When used in intimacy, the yoga strap can help us to extend our sensuality, and hold us to closer to our partner. I encourage you to try the following practices for exploring yoga strap bondage.

  Photo by    Samuel Zizi

Photo by Samuel Zizi

1. Blindfolded intimacy.

so that we can go deeper inside of our Self, with less distraction by visual stimuli. For this same reason, blindfolded intimacy can take us to a deeper level of the pleasure experience. When one of our senses is deprived, our other senses are heightened. Thus the power of blindfolded intimacy, when every caress becomes pulsing, every lick becomes dripping, and every whisper becomes a moan.

When we are in tune with our inner Self, our self-consciousness melts away. Blindfolded intimacy can help to raise the confidence of lovers who feel insecure about their looks or performance. When fully confident and present, we are able fully embody pleasure.

Yoga straps are about an inch wide, sized perfectly enough to cover our eyes. Simply tie the strap around your or your lovers’ eyes, and if it’s long enough, you will even have extra slack for tickling or spanking the rest of their body.

2. Conscious spanking.

When practicing yoga asana, we push past momentary body discomfort for the sake of sustained rejuvenation.  While spanking might sound discomforting, or perhaps even feel discomforting at first, it’s a practice that has long incited pleasure in both men and women. The pressure of spanking causes blood to rush to the glutes, which are deeply connected to the pelvic floor, therefore causing more blood to rush to our genitals. This engorgement is the very definition of physical sexual arousal.

Conscious spanking asks us to be more mindful of our partner’s pleasure than our own. When our intention is to pleasure our partner, rather than our own Self, we are deepening our vulnerability.  

I recommend the introduction of spanking while practicing a sensual massage. While using your hands to stroke your partner’s back and buttocks, you can also kiss your partner’s neck, shoulders, back, buttocks, and inner thighs. As you more passionately kiss and fondle your partner, begin using more pressure with your hands. Then try lightly spanking your partner’s buttocks with the end of the yoga strap, gradually increasing pressure according to their pleasure. You can also practice spanking during oral sex, intercourse, and every other time that it feels good to you and your lover!

3. Tying up.

Yoga asks us to slow down, to focus on our body and our breath, so that we can truly feel our Self. Being tied up by our lover forces us to slow down. It forces us to truly feel our partner. It forces us to surrender to the pleasure of our connection.

While the pleasure of submission is a characteristic of bondage in general, these qualities are magnified during the practice of being tied up. Our body and desire are at the helm of our lover. Unable to impose our desire, we must relax into our being and take it. This is a very intimate experience that necessarily builds trust between two lovers, expanding our connection beyond the body.

Try using the yoga strap to restrain your partner, beginning with their hands. Simply make a small loop at the end of the yoga strap, slip it around their wrists, and tighten it into a restraint. Tell your partner how you want to worship their body, and then slowly make your desire come into fruition. Make sure that every action is pleasurable for the both of you. You can go further by taking the tail of the yoga strap, and tying your partner’s restrained hands to the bed. Or try tying their feet together, or apart, or to the bed…the possibilities are infinite.  

Just as our practice of yoga can always go deeper, so too can our practice of intimacy and its ensuing vulnerability. And just as the yoga strap can help us deepen our yoga practice, so too can the yoga strap bring us to a sensual pleasure that goes deeper than the flesh.  

kama kat